Living and breathing in the Second City
Dear Oscar:
So I watched your show this year. It’s probably the first time in four or five years I’ve paid that much attention. TIVO helps. I can zip through introductions and acceptance speeches. I mean, who really wants to sit through awards for Costume Design and Art Direction, though I understand you can’t just get rid of them.
I must admit though, Oscar, next year I might just fast-forward through the whole damn thing … except maybe montages. I like the montages.
The first time I stopped watching you was because I thought your logic for awards was askew. (Come on, wasn’t Russell Crowe’s Oscar for The Gladiator just an apology for giving him the golden shaft the year before?) But this time is worse.
Oscar, I’m concerned your messiah complex has gone a little too far. It’s difficult, I’m sure, to keep your pedestal on the ground when you are made of solid gold and frequently have rich people whoring themselves out just to be near you. I’d feel like a god too, but enough already.
This year’s award service … er, ceremony … was just a little creepy, what with you “going green” and all. Since when did you become the world’s savior. It must be the protestant in me, nothing turns my stomach more than people wallowing in their own goodness. Even you, Oscar.
Here’s a little free advice: Nothing’s more annoying than an evangelist (any one who’s lived in the Bible Belt knows this). If you keep it up you’re going to drive people away. The best way to win people to your cause is by setting a good example.
Let’s forget for a moment about the science of global warming. If you want to save the planet, go buy a hybrid or give to the Sierra Club or, heck, be one of Al Gore’s surrogates. But DO something about it. DON’T spend your evening telling me what I can and should do.
Now I know you used recycled paper for the award certificates and a comprehensive recycling system was instituted to handle the event’s waste (though, I don’t think I want to know what this means exactly). But considering that something like 40 million people tuned in, each of whom had to plug in the TV and many of whom had parties, I have a hard time believing the bill is settled.
In fact, if you really want to be green, maybe you should just cancel the show.
You just can’t save the world by harassing it. I know, I know. It’s tough when your philosophy requires certain actions from others. I do. It’s difficult to convince people to put the interests of tomorrow before today. It is.
But hey, don’t complain. The Christians dealt with that crap for years. Really, you have it pretty easy, Oscar. All you have to do is convince folks something will happen in 100 years. You can be ambiguous, use terms like “abrupt” and “imbalance.”
The Christians, they have to convince folks that very specific things will happen, a messiah will ascend from heaven (no, not you Oscar). This is not to mention the afterlife.
No, you’ve got it easy Oscar. Face it, if Christians can spread the word without harassing people to the point of tears, so can you. You just have to be patient and stop invading their entertainment. Leave Spielberg and DiCaprio alone to talk about the movies.
If you do the show again next year and you want me to watch. Please … I’m begging you … give up the guilt-tripping, the exaggerating, the amens and hallelujahs, the preach-it-sisters, the judgmental staring. Listen to your spiritual brethren and leave the heathens alone.
Oh … and Oscar … next year … please … more montages.
Sincerely,
Michael Paul Van Winkle
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
-Carl Sandburg
Daniel Messick
February 27th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Mike,
While I agree, the proselytizing that goes on during an “awards show” is tired and to a degree unbearable, what did you expect? If you recall, every year the Hollywood establishment gets behind some cause (remember AIDS, and all the red ribbons that were worn? Oooo Denzel Washington is wearing a red ribbon to support finding a cure for AIDS…how noble!). This year the cause is Green – fighting global warming. Let’s for a moment remember that the Oscars are an award show “celebrating” achievement in the art of film. I won’t go down the path of how one can judge one performance against another, as a case could be made that one performer was more “true” to the character they were portraying then another. Or one role may have been more “challenging” then another, and therefore a case may be made for “awarding” the actor/actress that “pulled off” the more challenging role (think Daniel Day Lewis in “My Left Foot,” vs. Jack Nicholson, in nearly anything in the last 20 years of his career…as he is essentially playing himself to a certain degree).
In this writer’s opinion, a Gary Oldman or Daniel Day Lewis is certainly a better caliber actor then a Sylvester Stallone or David Arquette…but I digress.
Al Gore and the Hollywood elite have a pulpit, and they will use it every chance they get to espouse whatever the “flavor of the day” cause is. This year it’s global warming, next year it might be any number of things, immigration reform, the “war on terror,” etc. They are entertainers plain and simple…although in the case of Al Gore, I’m not sure what his title is now. But I agree with you Mike. If I’m going to tune in to a vapid awards show that has ZERO effect on my life, I don’t want to be preached to by a bunch of multi-millionaires with regard to what I should be doing to help our endangered environment. As annoying as I find U2’s Bono…he is getting out there and meeting with government officials, and attempting to promote policies and initiatives (which I may not necessarily agree with) that he promotes. In effect, Bono is backing up his mouth with action. I do take issue with his preaching to me as well, I know he’s a savvy businessman as U2 has moved their business operations to more “tax friendly” locales, so surely he does not have an issue with capitalism and profiteering.
As the climatologists tell it, the earth is a cauldron of constant change. The continents are moving, albeit at mere inches a year, undersea volcanoes continue to erupt, with the state of Hawaii adding land mass to itself through Mt. Kilauea’s eruptions on a daily basis. The glaciers continue to recede and weather patterns change sometimes on a yearly basis.
Drought continues in some areas of the world, while other areas are inundated with rain. There is no question that man through industrialization has POSSIBLY contributed to SOME changes in the earth’s environment. In areas such as China where coal is continuously burned into the atmosphere, and carbon monoxide emissions continue to trend upward due to rapid industrialization, one can’t help but wonder if there is a detrimental effect on the environment.
BUT, the earth is a malleable planet. The planet is constantly changing with weather patterns and other attributes of our planet ebbing and flowing in time. I certainly don’t condone complete disregard for our planet’s environment. I don’t believe in allowing industry to spew forth toxins with impunity into the air…but I also take issue with the alarmists who keep toiling the death knell for our planet.
So Hollywood, you can keep trying to entertain the masses, but please make an effort not to alienate the consumers of your products by preaching to us about what we should be doing to help: the environment, AIDS, eradicating cancer, stopping the genocide in Darfur, campaign finance reform, the war on terror, etc.….